What will be the Name?

It was like an island, a beautiful island way above clouds and the air there had this smell like it had grass in them, you know the smell that you get when everything around is free of all things. Though air was so thin that I had problems breathing but with every inhale, I could taste it's sweetness. The taste that you sense when you kiss your beloved, such sweet sensations. And I loved it. Air was so clear that I could see peaks of mountains a mile away. Air was as clear as her eyes. I could feel air touching me and smothering me. It was as if she was combing her fingers through my hairs. Even among these highest peaks I could just feel everything I didn't have. All that I had lost had come back to me in an instant. With the view of the most vivid, raw and uncontrollable beauty right in front of me, the only thing that mattered was that I had put myself in grave above the world that no one could see and no epitaph could fil the emotions I was feeling now. This was supposed to be my freedom, it was supposed to my redemption. And yet, it turned out to be my captivity. I am always going to be bound by this beauty and therfore this will be my grave as well. A part of me will always be buried here. Nothing can replace this feeling and now I know that maybe, there is a chance, maybe I can even give something to this place to make it more beautiful. And that is my soul. I know it for a fact. Maybe I can grow a mountain and water it, watch it grow and see all the  scraping and ridges and cliffs and boulders appear on it. Maybe the clouds will write it's name over the sky. And I will be here for end of times. So much more to feel is still left in this place for me to leave. Therefore I will be here with my creation.

Staring games

Some people are least bit concerned about what anyone feels or go through. This pain and suffering they let others endure is but a reflection of what they are going through inside. The hell they are going through inside projects itself to the world around them. Being so alone and dark does not make it that bad if we leave out the fact that it makes it a bit more pronounced, it makes every moment of it thousand times more sensitive. Once you have known those depths it is a slightly more difficult to overcome the depression and out to library of emotions, it makes one numb to any feelings and sensations of elation, it alienates.

"If you stare long enough into abyss, it will stare back at you."
Nietzsche

DESTRUCTION and REDEMPTION

He who knows the heart finds out how poor, helpless, pretentious, and blundering even the best and deepest love is--he finds that it more prone to DESTRUCTION than REDEMPTION!- KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LOVE: the martyrdom of the most innocent and most craving heart, that never had enough of any human love, that DEMANDED love, that demanded inexorably and frantically to be loved and nothing else, with terrible outbursts against those who refused him their love; the story of a poor soul insatiated and insatiable in love, that had to invent hell to send thither those who WOULD NOT love him--and that at last, enlightened about human love, had to invent a God who is entire love, entire CAPACITY for love--who takes pity on human love, because it is so paltry, so ignorant! He who has such sentiments, he who has such KNOWLEDGE about love--SEEKS death!

Darkness and Reason

We all like to root for the underdog. The dying, struggling last Ray of light fighting against darkness. Because we see ourselves in that place, rallying against all odds to reach somewhere. Yet wherever it goes there is darkness already. And darkness is all pervasive, it is all there is nothing. And maybe we are looking at it the wrong way. Accepting darkness is beginning of reasoning and converting from being wanderers to travellers.

Maybe by accepting the darkness that is there and was already there and will always be there is what we need to accept as reality and adapt to. Maybe we have become complacent because we can't use the senses that we have now to navigate through black. We need higher reasoning and become something more than man to rise, to evolve. We are rope, bridge between men and ubermensch.

What ourselves will become with all this hypocrisy and procrastination. We keep delaying evolving and resist changes that come our way. Let's develop into something of that darkness. Its not that there is nothing, it's that we are not yet developed enough to know what darkness actually has in store for us. Maybe that is where the madness lies. And all madness do have reasons for it. And with reason we will stop being someone who has travelled far off and yet haven't reached destination because there is none that we can imagine with our half developed brain. We can reach the cities of knowledge, gardens of love and palace of peace. 

We fear it because we cannot comprehend darkness like we can't understand other being. Like we all are so unique that to know someone else completely is a bliss that not all of us are blessed with. Like love, we cannot comprehend love as well. Its a bottomless pit, an abyss, something so powerful that we get overwhelmed by it at the slightest chance of it becoming reality. The same way, darkness is fearful because it is so powerful that a ray of light will be extinguished, if not today than tomorrow. Sooner or later it concedes defeat, maybe it's not defeat actually, its lights destiny as well. To change. And me, being at the same level of consciousness cannot fully understand the workings of light and dark. Only thing that I can understand is that I welcome darkness as much as light. I love both because in the end both is me and I am it. I am everywhere and always. If not me than a part of me, with all my virtue and all my vice, with all that's bad and all that's nice. I am and therefore I will be.

Why Nietzsche?

As with all beautiful gift i have received, i was introduced to Nietzsche by my brother. When he moved to States he gave me all his books and one among them was "Modern Classics Selected Writings- Nietzsche."

Who was Nietzsche, you ask. Telling you that he was a philosopher will not suffice. He was a psychologist as well, in fact Sigmund Freud said Nietzsche was the greatest psychologist ever lived, but that is not all. He has been called Antichrist as well, for questioning the prevalent Christian practices, so we can understand the impact he had and keeps having on the world.

His themes are not just revolutionary and thought provoking but for some people they seem to be offensive as well. For example when, through the mad man he declares that god is dead, he offends the whole institute of church. He does not stop at that, he goes on to say we have killed him and it is too early for him to come and announce of the events that have taken place because we are not ready. The other themes include one of the most infamous of his work- ubermeinch or the superman and the one with most impact- Will to Power. These are but just some of his works.

When we talk about a philosopher his personal life has also to be talked about as it has a huge impact on development of one's conscious self. His was a very sad life. And his demise was even sadder. He died after a decade of complete insanity. But between these two generic events that every person has to encounter it was the work he did between that made him what he was, and it certainly is the uniqueness of this world, even today. There are some anecdotes that I am going to share about his life which I remember now that can arouse interest in you about this man. Once he went to a brothel and was overjoyed at finding a piano there and enjoyed his time there by playing piano. Another time, towards the end of his life, he embraced a horse on a busy street and started weeping. The reasons for such behavior is topic to discuss another time.

I am not a Nietzsche scholar. I am just a regular reader who came across his work and stood there for a long time in awe and admiration as well confused and unknown to the acuity of what he wrote. I might be wrong in comprehending what he actually meant when he wrote, but as they say one cannot know what was written but only that what they read. I too will write about what i understood of things i read. After all a philosopher has one thing to do, to make people think. Ignite the flame, rest has to be done by the individuals to arrive at their own conclusion. A representation of a philosophers mind like Nietzsche can provoke thoughts in a well reasoned man while other's may just find him disgusting as we talked earlier.

What i am concerned with here is the philosophy that he proposes in a unique way. He writes mostly in form of aphorisms. To start thinking about things we do not think in our life, but are important for development of an individual as well as a society as whole. I have drift away from such hard hitting, thought provoking ideologies making my mind limited in the way that recieptiveness of it has became limited. Let me dive into myself a little by little for a better way to think and thus- to live by trying to understand by expressing myself, which is another limitation which caused by lack of open thought process.

Therefore, I will try to express myself on what Nietzsche wrote as I perceive it.

Ubermensch

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say… lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
            Tyler Durden

There is so much more to Ubermensch that I will write more on that later, its just that I read about Ubermensch and it clicked that Tyler is the character that comes closest to being Ubermensch that I have come across so here is an introduction to Nietzsche's Ubermensch.

The Narrator, an insomniac who has been going to support group meetings because seeing other people suffering more than himself makes him sleep like a baby. He buys the dining table that shows what he is as a person. He has to buy a table, which has yin-yang design, which says he is intelligent. He is someone whose only desire is his comfort and cannot see anything beyond him. Like the Last Man of Nietzsche, buying things he did not need but them because he has become a consumer in this materialistic society and does not have the power to go against it by himself. He is stuck in this hell hole for as long as he can remember.

Tyler Durden, is the Ubermensch of Nietzsche. He says “Self improvement is like masturbation, Now, self destruction…” He is nihilistic in the approach to make The Narrator an Ubermensch as he is. He tells The Narrator not to worry about things he owns so much because if he does so, the things start owning him instead. They start a club where more people like them come to vent their anger. They are law abiding and working people in their daytime jobs but every Saturday night they live their emotions and fight until the last breath.

As outlined by Nietzsche scholars the last aim of humans would be to self-combine. These opposites tend to be unified within the phase. Overabundance of any force necessitates a reverse force in the future in being for the sake of balance. This Ubermensch advances the thinking behind “great health” as an all-embracing totality by which almost all opposites tend to be combined in oneness.. Fight club says this like no other movie. Becoming one with both extremes is the ultimate human form.  Nietzsche said that man is the bridge between the animal and Ubermensch. We have to think and overcome our worst fear- fear of being lonely for being the one with difference. If we have different value system and principles, we will be left lonely but it is the price one has to pay for evolving.

The Wanderer

The man who has only yet partially arrived at freedom of reason cannot relate to this earth as anything but a wanderer- although not as a traveler turning his eyes towards a final goal in the distance, because there is no such thing.

Taking turns at every crossroads, while wandering, makes it seem as if there is no end to these deserted streets. There are people on these streets, yes there are, but still these streets are deserted.

 This life of wandering is a tormentor, for there will be no companions on the boulevard of chaotic changes, but it is changes that a wanderer strives on. A wanderer will meet many faces, he will go to many places, but he should not bind his heart to any single thing, because he will have to move on. There will be faces he will fall in love with, faces whom he will want to be with but he will have to let himself go. And at night all these faces will come back to haunt him, like the deserted streets. It will seem to him then, that it is his life, too, that has become barren, the second deserted street.

There is no place open for him, at nights of these torture, that will give him any refuge. And at the dawn he will meet a face from whom he had walked away from, that face will be like a vengeful sun, scorching his skin and blinding his vision. These faces will be as torturous as the deserted streets because they will be deserted of any emotions as well- just blank staring eyes.

The only recompense he will have is that he will see new suns- meet new faces. These faces will be to him like a dew drop on a grass in a winter morning, like the smell of soil when first rain falls. And when such dawn appears, with so much suns, he will see the streets further and  start his journey down the path again.

He will see other people understanding and treading the paths towards freedom of reason. They will take different paths but they will never reach anywhere because there is no destination for these wanderers.